Nicest Thing

All I know is that you're so nice
You're the nicest thing i've seen
I wish that we could give it a go
See if we could be something
I wish I was your favourite girl
I wish you thought I was the reason
You were in the world
I wish my smile
Was your favourite kind of smile
I wish the way that I dressed
Was your favourite kind of style
I wish you couldn't figure me out
But you always wanted to know
What I was about
I wish you'd hold my hand
When I was upset
I wish you'd never forget
The look on my face
When we first met
I wish you had a favourite beauty spot
That you loved secretly
Cause it was on a hidden bit
That nobody else could see
Basically, I wish that you loved me
I wish that you needed me
I wish that you knew
When I said two sugars
Actually, I meant three
And I wish that without me
Your heart would break
I wish that without me
You'd be spending
The rest of your nights awake
I wish that without me
You couldn't eat
I wish I was the last thing on your mind
Before you went to sleep
All I know is you're the nicest thing
I've ever seen
And I wish we could see
If we could be something

- Kate Nash

To My Best Friend

Well I can't believe my eyes right now
And I can't trust this feeling
You've forgotten all about us
You've forgotten all about me
Was I never there when you were down?
Was I invisible the times we laughed?
And all those days we were together
I feel as if you don't remember
Let's go back, far back now
To when things were just so simple
Let's breathe in the innocence we once had
How we've forgotten those silly days
You tell me you've let go, finally matured
But what you call "maturing"
I call "cowardly"
Days were so easy, how they'd come and pass
I trusted you so much
Put my faith deep in your palms
Well I guess I was mistaken
Cause nobody seems to tell the truth anymore
Did we realize it when we were 12?
That in the years to come
We'd be filled with such grief?
Well I feel so low, I can't feel anything at all
I can see your pain
You're avoiding the facts
You're shying away from me
You dislike me, no, hate
It's the only word to perfectly describe us
What a strong word it is
That we increasingly built without knowledge
We never thought we'd endure this emotion
But who were we to second-guess nature's plan?
And I'm so indigent
But you might refer to it as greedy
I just need our friendship
I want this stress to disappear
So this water fills my eyes
And this silence breaks the skin
That kept me so together
"What beautiful marks, such lovely tears
They've made you stronger," they say
But all I see is regret
And all I feel is remorse

Through the Eyes of a Stranger

With a smile on her face
She can achieve what she desires
I know that you despise her
The girl who has it all
The perfect hair, the perfect eyes
An angelic voice
With tears like rain in a desert
Impossible
But when they come, they come
And they pour
And the stream
And they leave their mark
But only for a while, just a simple amount of seconds
For if the rain were daily
And the land was always wet
It wouldn't be called a desert, now would it?
And if the tears weren't properly hidden
And the frown permanent mark
She wouldn't be called perfect, now would she?
So listen to her, listen to the words she does not say
Hear her silent pleas and cries
Because although she hides it well
She will someday break
And she will shatter
And her pieces will cut us all
For they are sharp and heavy
Unlike her, so unlike her
So impossible
Take her hand, and guide her through the thorns
For she is so different on the inside
Than what you see through your judgemental eyes

A Sonnet

Our love is like a withered rose
But how dare I compare thee?
For the heart given, will soon be disposed
Because I am not she
Tis the hollow eyes of one's so blue?
Or the painful shatter of my heart?
You make me regret everything I do
And everything I did not start
Seven pounds, and I am drowning
This heart will never mend
And you stand above me, towering
Is this truly where we end?
The dead silence answers my plea
Because you are not she

Thirteen

It was like a knife stabbing my heart.
Only, it was a repeating pain. The knife would pull out than plunge back in again.
I was going to puke. I could feel it; the nausea, the drumming in my ears, the tears clouding my eyes...and that plunging.
"I'm sorry," he said again, slowly closing the door. I could see the look on their faces before it fully closed, their anxious looks to see what my next action was and how I'd react to the humility.
I stood on the porch, my schocked face almost touching the peeling paint on what had been an official slap in the face, a banishment; the door.
I felt so exposed, as if my clothing had been ripped off me and I was simply not human anymore. The tears were now spilling out from my eyes and I couldn't stand there any longer. I turned around, walking off the steps and quickening my pace as I got closer to the school.
I headed up to the bathroom, slamming open the door with my palm, leaving an echo in the empty toiletries.
I walked over to sink, placing my hands on the cold, porcelain rim and grasping it with my pity strength. I glanced up and a horrible figure stared at me, her face all puffy and red, her eyes bloodshot with black circles around it, her teeth tightly clenched, matted hair was flattened on her angry face.
The deathly stare from this girl I thought I knew inside and out frightened me. I took a step away from her, and to my bemusement, she did the same, a new calmer look spread across her.

I raised my hand and watched her carefully do the same, than I placed it against her flat, symmetrical surface; a mirror. Adrenaline rushed again and I pulled my hand away from the reflection, watching myself agressively come forward with a fist and shatter the carbon copy of myself.

Dear You

I've cried tears
I've had fears
You know, I've woken up hungover
Not remembering how I got...here
Still not remembering...
I've slept alone
In a dry, haunted home
I've seen a sunrise & a sunset
Some regrets, some forgets, some misleads...
I've smelled your scent
A couple times around her house
I've felt your presence
In a dark corner of my mind
& now looking back I realize
How close to you I was
& standing here in a crowded spot
I realize I've seen a broken heart
It's lying on the ground infront of me
How could this happen to me?
We were meant to be
There always was a "we"
You were the one for...me...
& all I'm just trying to say is
I guess I miss you in that way
& all I know is I'm alone

Swimming

Am I still here?

Because I can see my image fading

My head is swimming with thoughts of you

Oh God, and I breathed you in

Let you cry right in front of me

Let silver teardrops rain down your cheeks

And I believed your words

Those foolish words

The ones you'd whisper in my ear

And breathe on my neck

Oh, your warm breath

Your warm whispers

Letting me drown in a deep sea of your lies

And I can still taste your tongue from time to time

Can still feel your soft touch

Can hear those words

How I fell for you

How silly I am

Stupid girl, I should've known

This is how caught up in you I get

So caught up ..... too caught up?

Almost dissolving right into you .....

Am I still here?

Introduction to Silence

I'm Silent.

I choose to keep my true identity a secret because those of you who know me, know me as the person, the carbon copy so to speak. But none know me from the soul, from deep down inside where I choose to keep myself hidden.

I am not a depressed, wrist-cutting person, if I may have come off as that. But I do have feelings & emotions that can be like that. We all do. We can all feel pain. We can all feel sorrow, joy, pleasure ..... & most of all, we are all silent mainly because we do not want people to see this somewhat dangerous side of us. But the longer we hold it in, the quieter we become & people notice change because our silence, this silence, speaks louder than our words do.

This is my place to let go & express myself. You will see & read funny blogs, sad ones, song lyrics that speak to me, or just ones that may inspire you ..... however that may be.

Follow me if you'd like, I'm sure I'll put a new flower in your garden.